God, I wish it were that easy, believe me, we cancer survivors TRY to do that as best we can. Always looking over our shoulder, of course.
So, as I DJ'd a dinner set for a wedding that my husband snared me into helping him with, I sat there, watching all of the people, thinking about what stuff they had going on in their lives and how they put it all aside for this celebration of a lovely couple. They were truly lovely by the way. The bride had a stunning gown and a waist that would have made Scarlett O'Hara jealous. The groom wore a very dapper grey tux with tennis shoes - his groomsmen all did the same. HA! love that.
My job, at this wedding, was to supply music to eat by. My hubby left me with a large supply of Exotica, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Brubeck, Milt Jackson, and the Bride's request...Bridget Bardot. I didn't know Bridget Bardot sang...well, I use the term loosely. Good thing she was stunning. I guess it was a fine mix...nobody choked on their food or anything. One guy actually came up to ask me about a version of Where or When played by Clifford Brown. Good version:
Anyway, as I watched everyone having a good time. I thought how much I miss having a good time. It seems like the song, Where or When....
Sometimes you think you've lived before All that you live today Things you do come back to you As though they knew the way Oh, the tricks your mind can play!
It seems we stood and talked like this before we looked at each other in the same way then, But I can't remember where or when. The clothes you're wearing are the clothes you wore. The smile you are smiling you were smiling then, But i can't remember where or when.
And so it seems that we have met before and laughed before and loved before, But who knows where or when.
It's kind of like Chemo wipes everything away. And you have to piece it all back together again. It takes a while. I still have Chemo moments....YES...Chemo moments. I just can't reach for a word...sometimes a really stupid easy word. It is so frustrating.
Don't let ANYONE tell you that Chemotherapy doesn't mess you up but good. They have no idea what the long term effects of that crap are. I realize that it's still their number 1 go-to, as far as cancer treatment is concerned, but it is barbaric and the receiver of the chemicals has much to contend with. You see a bald head...but, you don't see all the residuals that we deal with. Even depression can be attributed to that crap.
Anyway, sorry about the rant. I am trying to get on with life, and watching those people last night, seeing them laughing, letting go of whatever cares they have, to celebrate the union of two lovely people...I was reminded that THAT'S the stuff of life. Celebrating the good times. Smiling, laughing, spending time with people you care about, taking time out of your day to day existence to enjoy.
I bought a Pandora-type bracelet at my beloved card shop...the heart bead that came with it says, Celebrate Life.
Believe me, I am trying to remember that everyday.