Where or When?

Once you are ostensibly "cancer-free" and deemed a "survivor", you then must get back to life. Those who have not dealt with the ins and outs of cancer treatment often seem to think that it's like a case of the flu...you are past the bad part, now pick yourself up by the bootstraps and move along.

God, I wish it were that easy, believe me, we cancer survivors TRY to do that as best we can. Always looking over our shoulder, of course.

So, as I DJ'd a dinner set for a wedding that my husband snared me into helping him with, I sat there, watching all of the people, thinking about what stuff they had going on in their lives and how they put it all aside for this celebration of a lovely couple. They were truly lovely by the way. The bride had a stunning gown and a waist that would have made Scarlett O'Hara jealous. The groom wore a very dapper grey tux with tennis shoes - his groomsmen all did the same. HA! love that.

My job, at this wedding, was to supply music to eat by. My hubby left me with a large supply of Exotica, Frank Sinatra, Nat King Cole, Brubeck, Milt Jackson, and the Bride's request...Bridget Bardot. I didn't know Bridget Bardot sang...well, I use the term loosely. Good thing she was stunning. I guess it was a fine mix...nobody choked on their food or anything. One guy actually came up to ask me about a version of Where or When played by Clifford Brown. Good version:

Rogers and Hart totally rocked.

Anyway, as I watched everyone having a good time. I thought how much I miss having a good time. It seems like the song, Where or When....

Sometimes you think you've lived before 
All that you live today 
Things you do come back to you
As though they knew the way
Oh, the tricks your mind can play!

It seems we stood and talked like this before 
we looked at each other in the same way then, 
But I can't remember where or when. 
The clothes you're wearing are the clothes you wore. 
The smile you are smiling you were smiling then, 
But i can't remember where or when. 

And so it seems that we have met before 
and laughed before 
and loved before, 
But who knows where or when. 

It's kind of like Chemo wipes everything away. And you have to piece it all back together again. It takes a while. I still have Chemo moments....YES...Chemo moments. I just can't reach for a word...sometimes a really stupid easy word. It is so frustrating.

Don't let ANYONE tell you that Chemotherapy doesn't mess you up but good. They have no idea what the long term effects of that crap are. I realize that it's still their number 1 go-to, as far as cancer treatment is concerned, but it is barbaric and the receiver of the chemicals has much to contend with. You see a bald head...but, you don't see all the residuals that we deal with. Even depression can be attributed to that crap.

Anyway, sorry about the rant. I am trying to get on with life, and watching those people last night, seeing them laughing, letting go of whatever cares they have, to celebrate the union of two lovely people...I was reminded that THAT'S the stuff of life. Celebrating the good times. Smiling, laughing, spending time with people you care about, taking time out of your day to day existence to enjoy.

I bought a Pandora-type bracelet at my beloved card shop...the heart bead that came with it says, Celebrate Life.

Believe me, I am trying to remember that everyday.

Perspective

I don't need an alarm clock. My animals wake me up at 5:30 every morning. Crash pulls on the light cord to turn on the light. Louie finds plastic stuff in the garbage and chews on it REAL LOUD. Fuzz starts meowing, first in a soft little whisper meow, then it gets louder...if I tell him to shut up he does...but  if he gets ticked...he either slams our door shut - trapping himself in the room with us, or, his new trick...peeing on whatever is available....When all else fails, my blind jack russell gets up real close and seems to stare at me...that one sort of creeps me out.

So, usually by 6AM, I have had enough of their shenanigans and my flood of worries, so I get up.

Mornings are the toughest for me. As soon as I wake up, everything that is life floods back. Money worries, health worries, time - not enough of it to do what needs done, wondering how the hell to get back on track after a year of cancer, pain, hospitals, doctors etc. Of course, It could always be worse, I KNOW that, but still, life is life and it's hard on all of us no matter our circumstances.

Anyway, I feed the animals, who proceed to go off to do their own thing afterward, like I don't exist, except for the dog who insists on laying between my feet. I make the coffee. Turn on my computer and check email etc. Usually nothing interesting there. Then, I go to Facebook, and usually happen upon some inspirational quote that gets me through the day. Inspirational quotes have become a new religion on old Facebook. Anything from phrases in the bible to lyrics from a song....here are a couple of my favorites:

Perspective...man...that last one really sets you straight!

As human beings, we come from many different perspectives. As kids, we take life as it comes...we don't know any different, we can't wait...for the next holiday, the next break from school, our birthdays...As young adults, we want to change everything about the world to our way of thinking, we look forward to 21, attempt to PROVE ourselves, moving out of the house, getting married, having kids, having a career that makes us rich, being famous...About 40 or so, we are so in the middle of our lives that we can't see straight. We start wanting things to slow down a bit. Instead of anticipation, it's dread - aging, sending the kids to college - or the other side - biological clock ticking, performance reviews, doctor appoints, parents' declining health, job burnout... that portion lasts until maybe late 50s, early 60s...then something sort of kicks in - we begin to appreciate the day we have, at least a little more often than earlier in our lives. We begin to look forward to things like retirement (if we are lucky enough to have a job that allows for such a thing). We don't let the little things get to us as much. We begin to spend quality time with the people that matter. Ah...but about the time we are in our 70s, we finally realize what a gem life can be TODAY.

Why, in general, does it take us to our 70s before we realize what a gift life truly is? I see all perpectives in the lovely people who come into my card shop everyday. I see children, 20 somethings, 30 somethings... However, the people who take the most time and are most willing to just stop a moment to chat, in general, are the 70+ gang. Some are in wheelchairs, some on canes, some have hands crooked with arthritis, some shake uncontrollably, but most of them are so happy to be here and be up and moving and out and about. Yes...they are usually more free of responsibilities, but they are also closer to the inevitable...but they seem so much more content with life, than their younger counterparts. One little lady who came up to the counter had been ill during the winter...thin little thing - probably 80+....she just kept smiling and chatting...she was soooo glad to be out and about and see some of the people she loved to see. Her today, was amazing.

Why does it take most of us soooo long to appreciate life as it is given to us? Some learn to appreciate life early, due to hard childhoods, tragedy, disease. It seems, most of the time, however, we put appreciation of the life we are given off until it is almost too late!!


Perspective -

I was talking with a co-worker yesterday about a friend of hers....this friend went from being a waitress and struggling to make ends meet to having a home large enough for 6 bathrooms. So she went from worrying about how to pay the bills to one of her biggest "exhaustions" now...making sure every bathroom had enough toilet paper.

Perspective can change on a dime....have you seen the video of the interview with the older woman who lost her home to the Oklahoma tornado? As she was being interviewed, she sort of spoke in Zombie state....in shock, no doubt. However, she seemed to have that stoic perspective that one gets as one gets older.  She lost two things that meant the world to her....her home and her pup. As she was talking to the reporter, someone shouted, "the dog!" She looked in the rubble and there, struggling to get out from under the mess that had been their home a couple of hours before, was her beautiful little scottie dog, intact and so happy to see his mom. The lady then was speechless...finally she said. "Well I thought God answered one prayer...to let me be ok, but he answered both of them." and she bent down to comfort her pup.
Here is the video:
survivor-finds-dog-during-tv-interview

So her today went from ok, to devastating, to amazing in just a few hours. However, she seemed to have perspective about it all, no matter what the outcome regarding her pup. When asked by the reporter how she felt about losing everything, she replied "That's life in the big city!" ..... She gets it.

Some people in that area did not end up with such a miraculous outcome.

How do you keep perspective after a devastating blow? How do you keep perspective when everything in your world spins, literally out of control?

One of the best phrases ever, used most notably by Alcoholics Anonymous:

It really is all we have, sometimes, one moment at a time is all we can handle.

So...writing helps me do that. It helps me gain perspective and stop and breathe and appreciate the moment that I am in.

We have a line of cards at the card shop called LIFE IS GOOD....you know what...it really is, if you can keep perspective and find meaning in the life you have been given.

Will leave you with this link...an article about Meaningfulness vs Happiness - talk about amazing perspective - "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing," Frankl wrote in Man's Search for Meaning, "the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." :
There's More to Life than Being Happy


What do you do to gain perspective?  Send me a comment!!

Preemptive Strike, Strikes again

Angelina Jolie has now joined the ranks of breastless bone. In My Medical Choice, Jolie reveals that she underwent a double mastectomy earlier this year as a preemptive strike against breast cancer. Her mother had died of cancer at the age of 56 after battling for 10 years. Jolie popped for the genetic testing, which revealed that she was in the very small percentage of people who have the BRCA1 gene mutation. Having that mutation raises one's risk of breast cancer to 85% - she was told.
So, though she has had no signs of the disease to this point, she opted to remove her breasts to reduce her risk of breast cancer to 5%. Hope it works for her.

I tested for those crazy mutations - my oncologist was sure I would come back positive for BRCA2.
Guess what - no go. Most breast cancer patients, who test for those gene mutations are negative. Only 5% of breast cancers come up positive for BRCA 1 or 2. Most of us poor sods who end up dealing with this nemesis didn't even see it coming. In my family, it seemed more possible as my mother had it as well as my aunt, which is why my oncologist was sure he'd hit on a BRCA carrier. You could almost see the glimmer in his eye!! He was rather dumbfounded with the results. The genetics counselor tried to get me to do more tests for lesser known gene mutations. I stopped. The cost is ridiculous and really, I already know what my body is prone to...scaring the crap out of my sister, daughter, niece and even sons (BRCA2 is also known to be associated with male breast cancer, prostate cancer and pancreatic cancer) seemed unnecessary.

I remember thinking that if I had tested positive for one of those mutations, I would probably have to think seriously about going back under the knife, for multiple removals. I only had lumpectomies each time I was diagnosed. Mind, even after getting the "good" news, I still thought about freeing myself of the worry of going through this hell for a third time. I had doctors who were quite conservative about lopping off more than they needed to. I have never been that attached to my boobs. Hell...most of my life was spent rather flat chested from dancing and not weighing enough. Sometimes, I do wonder why I didn't just have that surgeon chop them both off the second time. Being a chronic breast cancer patient is not the way I want to live out the rest of my life.

On the other hand, I look at beautiful women like Angelina, and others that I know personally, and am saddened that they felt compelled to make such a decision before they even needed to. Mind...most women in that boat, watched at least one close relative - a mom, a sister - die from this crappy, shitty disease. So I do understand their preemptive strike. I only hope that it does the trick and they never have to go through all this mess.

Familial cancer. Why did I not want to do more testing to make everyone aware of what they might be susceptible to??? Well, folks, we all have ticking time bombs inside of us. I had a friend. in high school, whose father had a bad heart and died of a heart attack at 40. My friend carried the same susceptibility and feared that heart attack .... guess what, at about 40, he did have one. It didn't kill him, he got through it and, as far as I know is still kickin somewhere.  The thing is, you don't know how that susceptibility is going to play in YOU...everyone is different. Our individual make up is different - even if two people carry the same mutation, it doesn't mean that it will play out the same way in both. I don't want my sister, niece, daughter, sons to live their lives thinking they could be next...hell, they probably already think that BECAUSE of what I, my mom and my dad have already gone through. So why add to their worrisome burden?

I just bought a book called Overtreated - why too much medicine is making us sicker and poorer - by Shannon Brownlee. The other book I purchased after reading The Problem with Pink, in the NY Times magazine. The book is called - Unnatural History - Breast Cancer and American Society, by Robert A. Aronowitz, MD.  This books suggests that we have oversold both the fear of breast cancer and the effectiveness of screening and treatment, leading to miscalculation at the individual and societal levels. (Book sleeve). Now I have to find some time, between all of the hours I am working trying to pay off medical bills, thanks to all of this shenanigans, to read these. Because, in my heart of hearts - I think all 3 of these people are saying something that isn't being HEARD at this point!!!

Breast Cancer has become big business. What better way to make money than instill fear in EVERYONE!! Cancer - the insidious bastard - does that brilliantly. The media, the medical profession, the pharmaceutical profession all feed into that. We are all running scared. Cancer is like a terrorist....you never know where or when it might creep out. You just know that if and when it does, it's going to be ugly. And we are reminded constantly....Just like our preoccupation with reality tv, cancer has become another American idol. A crappy one, but still, cancer is in our face 24/7 just like, well like BrAngelina...Mind, cancer is big business EVERYWHERE...not just here. However, from what I have read - preemptive strikes are not as common in other parts of the world. We do everything in a big way here in the good ol USofA. Why would our take on cancer be any different?

The problem with breast cancer and prostate cancer - we can test soooo early for it - so then we cut it out, maybe go further and remove entire parts of the body - then we are subjected to the same crap that someone with a more advanced stage cancer gets, just for a 1 cm dot that had not gone anywhere - as far as we know....the million dollar question. The kicker, some early stage cancers don't have to be dealt with, some will progress until they kill. You are playing roulette whether you want to or not.  You ask, will my Stage 2 be the one that metastasizes? Oh god...I better take on as much treatment as my body can handle.  Or you say, Stage 1 - screw it, I had it removed...not gonna think about it again. And then you spin the wheel. Even the docs don't know which cancer will remain on the attack and which one will surrender. That's the problem STILL...the medical community scrambles with cancer.  Will we find a cure?? You will hate my answer...I don't believe we will. We might find better ways to keep it a bay, but wipe it off the face of the earth, never. It is a living thing that has potential in all bodies, human or not. Will it get less aggressive if we clean up our air, water, food supply? Maybe. Will our future generations morph somehow to avoid such calamity?...maybe. 

I wish I had answers to a lot of things. Right now, however, I have to get ready for work, so I can pay off all my medical bills from my cancer round 2. 

And so we push on...

It was a long week last week. It started with the Boston Marathon and ended with the capture of a 19 year old kid (some call him a man, but, look at his face...he's a kid), not only was he laying in a pool of his own blood, in a dry-docked boat, no less, but allegedly, the blood of over 180 injured and 4 dead on his hands, (5, if you count running over his brother - as some reports say). He caused the city where our fight for independence began, to shut down completely for almost 24 hours. What the hell?

As I watch the authorities sort all of that out, my thoughts turn to the survivors of this mess. How do you survive such mess?? A family, literally torn apart right in front of one of the brothers. A little boy, 8 years old, standing on the guard rail, watching the runners as they crossed the finish line, now dead. His little sister standing next to him. She will never stand the same way on those little legs. His mother, laughing and chatting, now laying in a hospital recovering from head wounds. His father - questioning why? Two young women pursuing their dreams, dead.  An officer ambushed. How do the loved ones of the 4 dead, survive? What about all of the other people now fighting for their lives, and, if they win that battle, learning how to survive without limbs, learning how to survive the nightmares and the worry that they will now have every time they go outside their door, looking over their shoulders to see what monster may be standing there waiting to rip their lives apart again, and what clue will they have that there is INDEED a monster in their midst.  How do you survive that????

Details are still coming into focus about the brothers Tsarnaev. Even their own family members seem incredulous. Their parents brought them here to get out from under war-torn living. Seemingly good boys as they grew up, what changed and why? How does the family of these brothers survive this? 

As with so many horrific things that happen in the world, the answers will never be satisfying enough. There are parts of the world where incidents like Monday's bombing, happen on a regular basis. But the throngs push on. Survive. What else can they do?

My mother grew up in war-torn London. She and her family were regularly awoken by the air-raid warnings as bombs dropped around her little 5 year old head. She and her family came back home one day, to find a house nearby destroyed. My aunt would sometimes not even leave to safety...she got tired of being pushed around by the forces that be. She survived. My mother and her entire family survived. How, as a 5 year old, do you come to terms with that kind of nightmare? I certainly did not have to deal with that at 5. I grew up in a safe home, safe neighborhood, safe family that never gave me cause to worry. My mother will always have my admiration.

I guess, for my mother and MANY others, dodging bombs, bullets etc, becomes a way of life and you learn to adapt. We all have bombs dropped upon us at some time in our lives - cancer, accidents, deception, the list goes on and on...what do we do after that bomb? We push on.

Why - the million dollar question - We, as human beings, are always looking for the reasons for the unreasonable stuff that happens. Sometimes we find them, sometimes we don't. Sometimes we find comfort in our faith, sometimes that faith is shaken to its very core.

And so - we push on - we open our doors and go back into the world. We may advocate for an end to violence, disease, accidents, deception...but those things will always be a part of human existence...so what do we do?

We push on -

The Recurrent question - When does a cancer patient become a survivor - or are we shipwrecks??

I began a 6 week workshop yesterday, called Cancer Transitions - Moving Beyond Treatment - a program supported by Livestrong.

Before our session even started, we sat in a circle chatting about our lives and, more than once, the question of when survivorship starts came up - when does one deem him/herself a survivor?

I think I've said this before, but it is worth repeating...We survived a hell of a lot just to be born, so in my humble opinion, we are all survivors, everyday that we wake up and breathe for another day.

The word "survivor", however, is now inevitably linked with cancer. Someone in our group said that her oncologist told her that using the word "survivor" is not PC anymore...WHAT??!!  Ok...so we are not survivors....we are just poor souls who were stricken with a potentially deadly disease and happened to not die. So that makes us what?... The undead??

I decided to explore what we could call ourselves if not survivors.

The other words for a survivor in the thesaurus are as follows:

The main entry word to describe survivor is...wait for it.....LEFTOVER 

Here is the list of words that are synonyms for Survivor:
Remainder, remains, debris, leavings, legacy, oddments, odds and ends, orts, remnants, residue, scraps, surplus, trash...
yeah...don't think those are gonna work too well.
Thanks Thesaurus.com

As I read these to my husband, he added the following:

flotsam, jetsam, lagan and derelict

These terms are used in maritime law to describe various kinds of ship wreckage. As I read the definitions of each...I realized that cancer survivorship could certainly correlate to these 4 words:

Flotsam - is floating wreckage of a ship or its cargo. Our bald heads growing hair back...our forever scars....our broken relationships....our broken finances....our fragile emotions....we are still floating around...but...man...are we missing some stuff and the rest is a mess.

Jetsam - is part of a ship, its equipment, or its cargo that is purposefully cast overboard or jettisoned to lighten the load in time of distress and that sinks or is washed ashore. Better discard the ovaries...the other boob...excess stuff we don't need to keep.

Lagan - is cargo that is lying on the bottom of the ocean, sometimes marked by a buoy, which can be reclaimed...Hmmmm...might use that Flap later...will keep it handy.

Derelict - is cargo that is also on the bottom of the ocean, but which no one has any hope of reclaiming.  Get that tumor out...along with the boob, jaw, spleen, kidney, liver part...whatever....cast it off this ship NOW...

Thanks wikipedia

So...we are SHIPWRECKS???  Believe me, some days it feels that way.

We lost an incredible writer to cancer this week. Roger Ebert was a survivor all the way to the end if you ask me.

My ex hubby sent me this brilliant article that Mr. Ebert wrote a couple years back.
I do not fear death

You know it's funny....near death experiences and facing death square on...or at least seeing it wave to you from a corner...certainly causes you to think long and hard about what it means and what it means to survive.

To be able to keep old death at bay makes you a survivor in my book...Flotsam, Jetsam and all.



 

Dorothy Hamill

Dorothy Hamill, "America's Sweetheart" of the 1976 Winter Olympics in Innsbruck. She beamed on the ice. She beamed off the ice. Her Hamill Camel was to die for and then there was the haircut. I couldn't skate, so never would have pulled off the Camel...but I could do the haircut and LOVED it. Hmmm must have a picture around here somewhere.

In my dance world, as a child, I had two dance heroes - they were both men. That story is for another day.  Anyway, Gene Kelly and Fred Astaire were my inspirations when I was young. Kelly, compact, athletic and always that gorgeous smile of his. Astaire, appeared tall, though he was only 5'9". He was long limbed and thin which made him seem taller, I think. He was elegant to be sure.

In my skating world - no I was not a skater, but, I guess it was always a pipe dream - my favorite skaters were Peggy Fleming and Dorothy Hamill. In comparison, Peggy was my Fred Astaire of skating, Dorothy was Gene.

Did you know that both of those beautiful ladies went through Breast Cancer? Peggy Fleming in 1998 at age 50, Stage 1 - lumpectomy and radiation were the treatments. Dorothy Hamill announced, in January of 2008, that she was being treated for breast cancer at age 51- Not sure what stage, but she had a mastectomy + Chemo + radiation. Her mother had also been diagnosed prior to Dorothy's diagnosis.

Fleming has been active in advocacy since her diagnosis:
Meet Breast Cancer Survivor: Peggy Fleming

Dorothy Hamill, in 2010, admitted that even 2 1/2 years out of treatment, she felt the effects of all she had been through.
Dorothy talks about side effects

Their stories are a bit different. Fleming had minimal treatment for very early stage. Hamill's was more complicated with a mastectomy and chemotherapy added to the mix. They both, however, had to deal with all that cancer brings with it - a closer look at death, education on how this insidious disease works, major decisions on how to deal with their cancer, then the emotional and physical fallout.

Yes, we all hope to catch cancers at early stages, before they get to end of life stage. However, being a survivor does NOT mean all's well that end's well. The effects of cancer and its treatments last for years, if not one's lifetime, no matter how extended that is. The emotional scars, the physical scars, financial scars, and the long lasting effects of chemicals that are pumped into one's body all leave their marks. Some of these effects are not even really known at this point. It will be my generation of breast cancer survivors from 1999 - now, that really give a true picture of what survival after mastectomy, chemotherapy, radiation is really like 20 years down the road. The residual effects are far reaching - from arthritis, to lifelong cognitive issues, not to mention more opportunities for cancer, that's if it doesn't metastasize somewhere along the treatment road.

Are Dorothy's new physical issues due to treatments? Maybe, maybe not. I saw Dorothy's announcement on "Dancing with the Stars". I didn't happen to see the performance, but saw the re-run excerpts, and what a disaster it was for Dorothy. She just looked so sad.  It saddened me to see that beautiful beaming face so sad. She has been through so much: depression, cancer, divorces, bankruptcy. And now, her back. She is an athlete; not being capable of moving is like being tied up. I know how that feels. When one is used to moving so much, it is heartbreaking to be forced to stop by your own body. Dorothy is resilient, though...she will get through this and come out the other side. I believe that with all of my heart.

So today, my thoughts are with Dorothy. My Gene Kelly of the skating world, my haircut twin, my sister in breast cancer, my heroine. Be well Dorothy x

Cancerversary

Yesterday marked the 1 year anniversary of my most recent breast cancer diagnosis.  Did a lot of thinking about it all yesterday. A LOT has changed in that year. I thought I had a new direction, career-wise, and, after a year of health issues, realize that direction is not all it was cracked up to be for me. I thought I had finally put my finances in a good position, only to find myself scrambling again with added medical bills, insurance costs and more. I haven't tried to be quite so brave this time. I should be grateful. As with #1, I only had a lumpectomy. Yes, I had to go through the hell of chemotherapy both times and all the radiation and the follow-up medication (Tamoxifen the first time and now Arimidex). For the most part, at least from the perspective of the outside world, mine was nothing compared to what some must go through, however, I have truly felt lousy for months: Tired, cranky, in pain, doubtful that I will ever escape this maze again and really, really ANGRY.

Cancer, as I have talked about before, is so insidious. Not only does it seek to destroy one's body, but it also reaches beyond to other aspects of one's life: relationships, finances, future goals...Cancer changes everything. No matter how much one may attempt to downplay the role cancer takes in one's life, it changes perspective for everyone involved.

I would like to take a look at the various perspectives cancer skews:

The patient:  I have cancer. Shit...now what? Am I going to die from this? Am I going to survive? Is it going to plague me forever? Am I ever going to be out from under its clutches?? What did I do wrong? Could I have stopped this from happening?  The treatment is what's gonna do me in.  The bullshit about cancer attacking "unhealthy" people is just that...BULLSHIT.  If it only attacked people who eat too much bad stuff, are overweight, treat themselves badly, then someone like Linda McCartney should be alive and well. Cancer doesn't care how you treat your body...in fact, it seems sometimes, the healthier the body, the more robust the cancer can become if not kept in check. So how do I stop this from happening again?  Do I have ANY control over this?

The spouse or significant other of the patient:  These poor people become the care takers, whether they want to or not. They must cart the patient to appointments, treatments, help with surgical wounds, medications, daily care activities. On top of that, they feel compelled to be the patient's biggest cheerleader, supporter, confidant, therapist.  These poor people truly get the short end of the stick. They are as exhausted as the patient, and yet must keep working on ALL fronts. By the way, I have an new article posted. Please take a look at How I Handled My Wife's Battle with Cancer, by Cameron Von St. James. http://adancerlivingwithcancer.blogspot.com/p/articles-on-arts-in-healthcare.html

The children of the patient: Cancer - is mommy or daddy going to die? The biggest fear in a child's life is losing a parent. Cancer = death thanks to society. My parent has cancer. That means he or she is going to die. Cancer takes away childhood innocence very quickly.

The other side of that coin - what if it is your child with cancer?  A parent's worst nightmare is losing a child.

Work environment: Some co-workers handle the whole thing well...others, not so much. Some demand the same amount of energy from the patient as before the cancer, some ease up. No matter the circumstances, the work environment is a tough one for everyone involved. Trying to keep a sense of normalcy seems like the way to handle a cancer diagnosis, but, for the patient going through treatment, nothing about life is normal anymore. Work becomes fairly secondary for many going through cancer treatment. If you are in a job that is just a means to an end, that becomes even clearer when fighting for your life. This may become a problem for the co-workers and supervisors. Though there are rules in place as far as job keeping etc...when in the midst of this nightmare, lines can be very blurred.

Friends:  Well...cancer is one of those incredible testers of friendship. Some hang tough and do all they can to help the patient, others realize that this friendship will cause too much work and concern, and it seems better to cut losses. To be fair, cancer scares everyone. Some would rather run away from it. Can't blame them. I would run too...if I could.

Doctors:  Mine was dumbfounded that I had #2. I truly think it threw him for a loop for a bit. Give most doctors credit. They are looking for answers. Most people get into the medical profession because they want to make life healthier for the population. When they don't succeed, it is distressing. Cancer is still such a mystery. There are new thoughts coming out everyday - proteins, triggers, genetics etc...but there still is not one solid, concrete answer as to how to deal with cancer. A bandaid is just not gonna do it.

Insurance companies: You have cancer in your history...forget about ever easily getting any kind of insurance. It will cost you but good...if you even convince a company to take you on.

Potential new employers: Well, I guess one could keep it to oneself, but cancer...TWICE?? The thing is, cancer is part of who I am now...if I kept that to myself, I would feel like I wasn't being honest.  However, with that kind of history, good luck finding a job. Gonna have to prove you still have some longevity now. Good luck with that.

We all come to cancer with a different perspective - some may have multiple perspectives.
Cancer is everywhere. Cancer is the scourge of human kind - seems to have gotten more prevalent in the last few decades. Has it really? Or is it just because we are scouring for it now?
Would these "early stage cancers" really be the death of some, or would those people live to a ripe old age without ever being affected by it?

On my "Cancerversary", I did not celebrate. I cried. Cancer has changed my existence completely. It is something I try to "live" with, but it is a handicap way beyond my prosthetic hip. I have been warned that my hip replacement will set off bells and whistles in some arenas....well, cancer has done THAT for the last 13 years.

I HATE cancer.

What is your perspective on Cancer?  Have you fought it yourself? Have you been a caretaker, friend, child, etc of a person diagnosed?  How did cancer affect you?